I've said good bye to a lot lately - people, places, old comforts - without any true promise of seeing or experiencing their presence again. I have had to move on from dying relationships, leave behind sweet places I couldn't live at forever, and do what I could to let go of material comforts that faded, were eaten up, or were just too heavy to bring in my suitecase with me across the ocean.
The truth is, I hate to cry in front of people. I really do ... but the dignity I protect is a luxury I cannot afford when I've said the number of hard good byes that I have. I always wanted to say that letting go of people got easier as I got used to it, but I can't seem to callouse my heart enough. I wonder if anyone can.
But here I am; after stretching seasons, cycles of tears and laughter, quiet nights alone and slow mornings where I have little motivation to get up and live ... I am alive and I am thriving. I am in a country I have never called my own ... with friends I never would have met otherwise, particular, simple joys I never would have known elsewhere, and a blossoming peace in the solitude and among the questions. I have no doubt God will take care of my family and I; my faith has held strong! And now, after the many good byes I have suffered with, the seasons of testing, adjustment and faith, I find myself looking at a completely new, fresh, and exciting life ... just breaching the horizon.
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
John 14: 18, KJV
The truth is, I hate to cry in front of people. I really do ... but the dignity I protect is a luxury I cannot afford when I've said the number of hard good byes that I have. I always wanted to say that letting go of people got easier as I got used to it, but I can't seem to callouse my heart enough. I wonder if anyone can.
But here I am; after stretching seasons, cycles of tears and laughter, quiet nights alone and slow mornings where I have little motivation to get up and live ... I am alive and I am thriving. I am in a country I have never called my own ... with friends I never would have met otherwise, particular, simple joys I never would have known elsewhere, and a blossoming peace in the solitude and among the questions. I have no doubt God will take care of my family and I; my faith has held strong! And now, after the many good byes I have suffered with, the seasons of testing, adjustment and faith, I find myself looking at a completely new, fresh, and exciting life ... just breaching the horizon.
I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
John 14: 18, KJV
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