What's today?

So I don't usually post like this - you know, unplanned. Like sometimes I think first.
Today is my birthday though.
But not really - it's kinda complicated. Anyway, that gives me Posting-without-thinking-rights.
This is something I wrote today. In honor. Of. My Fifth birthday.

*Aghem* (Here goes.)

  Here's to the God who reached down five years ago today.
  I'd like to think of it as my birthday. Do you know what he said this morning?  "Well, who's to say it's not my birthday?"
  "I don't know. Cause you had nothing to gain from that day?"
  "Wrong. I did."
  "Umm-"
  "Everything you are."
 (See?? See how perfect that is??)
  So softly, like a whisper in the trees. I smiled.

  Here's to the God who stepped into the middle of everything I'm ashamed of - rebellion, depression, - a stubborness with him that would have made me so sick if I were him. I sang his name at church. I read my Bible. Then I would hear from him and never listen to a single word. I went on living an average life, but wondering why I was upset.
  My first night in Africa. The fouth night away from home in Virginia. Mad, but mostly confused - that's what happens with culture shock, I guess. And a hard night before on the airplane. (And the hormones of a twelve year old red head.)
  That night, I believe I saw you, Jesus. =)
 
  Here's to a God so many don't believe in.

  Here's to a God I saw.
  And he told me he wanted me - he especially wanted me to live for him; a life I would be happy and heal in. I hesitated, then told him yes. Looking back at the peace, warmth and life that swelled in my heart, I was a little surprised. Now I recognize that feeling as the arms of God - that sensation that hits your whole body, like you're back at home and someone's singing a lullaby to the child inside. Everything feels different. It's like God is cushioning you.
   That night I fell asleep a different way; even if all my life I had known there was a God (and knew how to talk with him), I felt him for the first time.
   There was a click.
   People, that click is vital.

   Here's to the God who loves me more than I even understand. Or can fathom.

   I will dance for you for the rest of my life - Happy Birthday, Love!



So that's what I wrote earlier. =) It's weird looking back at how young I was and how big I thought I was. Then again, I was dealing with some tough stuff all at once. Jesus knew when to step in. And that's my story!

It's not really something I've ever shared, but I figured it's worth sharing.