The Post That Has No Name

I don't know what to call this post yet, but give me a second.

...

Just kidding, I i still don't know what to call it.


I haven't posted anything on my blog in a really long time; I remember always wanting it to be better (and, actually, hating the zebra background but being unable to find anything better). I remember loving the responses that I got, even though there weren't many comments. More than anything, I loved looking at the statistics and seeing the audience spread across the globe. I was an awkward highschooler who was happy to have any readers and nothing was better than seeing the countries that the readers were from; not only Namibia and the United States, but Russia, France, South Africa, Latvia, and several others. I loved learning about what people love to read (which, by the way, is not this post, because there are no photos and it is not arranged in an oddly satisfying list of information).


However, when I left for college, I found it harder to write anything. I had all these ideas for better posts and I wanted to make a prettier, more exciting blog out of this. Maybe I will someday, when I get my head around everything that I'm doing (ha.) or at least feel more like a grown up (when does that kick in?) or just maybe when I've sorted exactly what it is to be a grown up missionary kid.


Which is complicated, by the way; sinking into my existence as a repatriated adult MK. My life isn't so exotic. My window panes aren't dusty. My feet don't ache from hours of dance. I no longer wake up to the cries and happy sounds that little girls make when they're getting ready for school or to the light of the Namibian sun as it rises to bake the roof of our house. I miss youth group and music and teaching dance classes, but I miss being Ousie most of all.


And it isn't all gone, by the way (I'd like to end on a happier note). There's a reason I cannot prioritize blogging anymore! I'm learning great things and it's all coming at me at eighty words per minute (which is my typing speed, by the way), at the speed of whipping pirouettes (which I can barely do anymore), and I feel like a child with a whole lot of big, grown up decisions on the table in front of me, but it's so exciting. I have places to go, things to discover, people to love - a future, but also a past I'm still connected to.


And I'm praying all the time that I never forget where I am from.

The Deal with Good Byes

I've said good bye to a lot lately - people, places, old comforts - without any true promise of seeing or experiencing their presence again. I have had to move on from dying relationships, leave behind sweet places I couldn't live at forever, and do what I could to let go of material comforts that faded, were eaten up, or were just too heavy to bring in my suitecase with me across the ocean.

The truth is, I hate to cry in front of people. I really do ... but the dignity I protect is a luxury I cannot afford when I've said the number of hard good byes that I have. I always wanted to say that letting go of people got easier as I got used to it, but I can't seem to callouse my heart enough. I wonder if anyone can.

But here I am; after stretching seasons, cycles of tears and laughter, quiet nights alone and slow mornings where I have little motivation to get up and live ... I am alive and I am thriving. I am in a country I have never called my own ... with friends I never would have met otherwise, particular, simple joys I never would have known elsewhere, and a blossoming peace in the solitude and among the questions. I have no doubt God will take care of my family and I; my faith has held strong! And now, after the many good byes I have suffered with, the seasons of testing, adjustment and faith, I find myself looking at a completely new, fresh, and exciting life ... just breaching the horizon.

　
　

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
John 14: 18, KJV

One of Them

The people who help you up
And the people who hug you till your tears are dry
Are the people who feel you -
The people who burned with you when the match was struck;

People who are burned already.

The truth is that ache is unavoidable,
But ache is what gives us power.
When you’ve fallen, you haven’t lost;
Not nearly as much as you’ve gained.
Those who fall are those who will fall over and over again
Everyday with their friends who suffer beside them.

Yes – everyday. Every friend who feels the repercussions of divorce,
Every soul that wastes away slowly under the increasing pressure of depression,
Every child who’s been left without a mother,
Every mother left without her child,
Everyday and everyone.

The tears of an angel harvested
By the man who promised her the stars,
The sweat of a child, terrified
Of the sound beating he knows is coming,
The sleepless weeks of a mother
Who misses the son she lost to tragedy,
The dark circles on a good heart
Whose hands are tied as they watch their house fall.

You know them all -
And all of them personally.
You know their ache and the sound of their breath
When it hitches, even though they’re too tired to cry.
You remember and you feel it -
Like the slit never healed,
Like the devil never left,
Like the shadows never fled,
Like the coffin never closed,
Like the bruise never changed,
Like words are still ringing,
Like the blow is still stinging,
Like the orphan is still waiting,
And the gates are still locked shut.

But every time you fall with them
(And fall with them again and again),
You remember;
Cuts do close!
The devil grows tired.
The sun chases the darkness over the far, far horizon.
You can silence the words.
There are good people in the world
Who will come and save us from abandonment ,
Who come and lift us from tragedy,
Who can feel with us and breathe with us and pray with us
Until the locks fall and the gates crumble -
And you remember,
You are one of them now.

The Ultimate Care Package Guide

This post is for those who want to know what to send to missionaries or other people overseas whom they support... or, possibly, for the many people who will wonder why my family is bringing 114,612 bags back to Africa with us when we go. I mean, more or less that amount. 

The truth is, my family is hoarding for their next two years in Namibia, where they will be isolated from all the little luxurious things that the average American takes for granted; not us, guys. Here is a list of the many little American things that we treasure like Gollum and his juicy, sweet fish. (Oh, sorry ... a little too creepy?)

This is not me begging for anything -I promise. In fact, our family has enough, thanks to the provision of God - I'm trying to encourage readers who aren't quite sure how to bless people that they know overseas.


Candy from passport country 

Americans overseas love to receive Twizzlers, Skittles, M&M's and just about anything involving peanut butter or chocolate from back home. If the people you support are from countries other than the States, I'm sure their cravings will be much different, but those who sorely miss The Land of the Fat (also known as these-here United States of 'Murrica) would love for you to send them a carefully wrapped and taped package of glucose, carbs and cocoa madness. Please do.


Specialty foods 

Learn their health issues - is anyone in their family or on their team sugar-free, gluten-free, or otherwise on a special diet? (Our family, for example, appreciates gluten-free or corn-free mixes or pasta.) Small packages of dry things don't cost too much to send and are more easily preserved. If you need any further help thinking of things to send, consider bags of light-weight sugar-free candy, gluten-free brownie mix, milk or egg substitutes, protein powder, artificial sweeteners or even medicine they might need.


(Instant) Tea or coffee 

This one is especially for Starbucks fans, but the honest truth is that you can find lovers of tea, coffee or hot chocolate in any culture/ country of the world. It's safe to assume that the person you are sending this care package to will enjoy some kind of instant drink. Also, tea bags are really light and easy to send. Boom! Everybody wins.


School Supplies 

In case the family you support has not begged you for school supplies yet, here you go; they most likely want - no, strongly covet the school supplies you are about to send them. For those people across the globe working with children, pretty pencils, some Elmer's graft glue, colored paper, stickers and coloring books may very well sound like heaven. They probably wonder where all their erasers and pencil sharpeners have disappeared to and would love for you to save them from an eraser-less-pencil-sharpener-less fate. Please, have some compassion on the tired teachers and missionaries across the world.


Kid's movies 

Any kind of family friendly entertainment will likely do the trick, actually - particularly family films, educational shows or, generally, any entertainment with a wholesome message. Think Frozen, Barney, Narnia, Meet the Robinsons, etc. You might also send ministry movies (even if they're generally for an older audience) to help them further their cause; To Save A Life, Veggie Tales, Indescribable, the Jesus Film - ask the missionaries about their audience and what they could use for their ministry.


Letters

A  letter from an old friend I haven't seen in ages? Ooooh, please, yes. This is just as good as anything else you could send. You never know who may need a word of encouragement or a reminder that their friends haven't forgotten them! Send a little love.


Spontaneous Items

 Think of unique, mail-able things that could brighten anyone's day. Even if it's from the Dollar Store, it could be an incredible blessing to the people you support. Think fun sticker sheets, glow sticks, tubes of glitter, card games, magazines, silly putty, yarn, chewing gum - if you include bubble wrap, then hey! Some of us consider that a gift in and of itself.

My Africa

 I found this poetic and real. It's a good description of the place I miss! This isn't much of a blog post, but I don't think I need to add anything else.

Originally from this website:  http://www.afrostylemag.com/ASM9/

Coffee and Babies

This caught my eye - being in contact with malnurished babies has shown me the real-life tragedy that it is - and how hard it can be for a mother to rise out of poverty with an infant on her hip! Kindly take a moment and at the very least, pretty please,  look at this website and at what these organizations are doing! And if you like coffee, you might as well save a little life while you drink it. I mean, come on! Drink a cup of 100% Arabica roast and know it helped save someone's life? Everybody wins. And even if you're totally heartless  ... ?

                                                               IT'S COFFEE.

Wanna see a description of Compassion's Child Survival Program? Click on this link: http://www.compassion.com/how-we-work/child-survival-program.htm

 

 

Wanna see the coffee options? Click on THIS link:

http://www.coffeeonline.org/coffeeshop/Coffee_Selection/

 

 

To see who else Coffee Online supports, click here:

http://www.coffeeonline.org/coffeeshop/Who_Benefits.html

 

 

 

For comparison, their coffee is the same price (US $11.99) as a bag of Starbucks French Roast. The difference?

 

This is a not-for-profit organization that saves the lives of adorable little baby boys and girls whose lives would suck more than you could imagine if nobody liked coffee. Just sayin'.